I can't believe it's here...

Yes, that image is my entire life sprawled across the floor, waiting to get packed into suitcases. If you ever thought that packing was difficult, just wait until you attempt to pack for a year abroad in a foreign country. I have resorted to stuffing scarves into random corner pockets and debating whether or not I will actually get any use out of my tennis shoes. Let's just say that by the end of this, my sisters were quite happy at the amount of clothing I left behind for them to rummage through.
Packing wasn't the only thing I left til the last minute. My flight leaves tomorrow morning and I'm just now starting this blog. My mental preparation has been rather minimal as well. I probably should have been brushing up on my Italian vocab or setting up appointments to visit apartments, but all I've been able to do the past two weeks is stare down this Sunday like it's the Rapture. I think I have sincerely convinced myself that I will be leaving this planet and everything I know behind. (whether or not it will be for a better place is yet to be determined).
The most irrational things keep popping into my head: Ian will finally grow a beard, Andy and Michelle will get married, Lilly will end up going to college in Japan, Avalon will play host to a mountain lion infestation, and Wescoe will most likely blow up.
How can things keep changing even though I'm not here? It's really just cruel. I would like them to stop.
I'm going to try to board my plane tomorrow thinking only of the tiny steps. When I imagine coming back next June, I get choked up and see myself walking past the empty hole that was once Wescoe. But I can handle small pieces. I'll get off the plane at some point. I will get in a cab. I will arrive at my hotel. I will unpack some clothes.... that's pretty much as far as I can go at this point. I guess I will let everyone know what happens next.

Oh, and here's my life packed into only two suitcases and two backpacks (pretty impressive right?)